Monday, October 15, 2012

10.11.12

My 28th birthday was this past Thursday, October 11. I'm not too big on my birthday only because we really never celebrated them growing up. You know, a "happy birthday" and maybe a card; then the day would go on as usual with the occasional family member fulfilling their obligatory birthday greeting. But over the past few years, I have been able to celebrate my birthday in different ways. Last year my husband Nate and a few friends planned an "Awesomely 80's" birthday party where I donned an extravagantly horrendous teal and sequined evening gown. Everyone dressed like a NKOTB (if you were born in the 80's no need for me to spell that out; you should know!) video and we had a house party and danced all night.
This year's birthday was alot more low key with selling the house and moving on the horizon! As my birthday was approaching, I had alot of time to reflect on age 27 and what the past year was like; that led me to make some birthday resolutions to bring in the new age. In a nutshell, age 27 was a year to shed . I researched shed online; The Free Dictionary defines the word shed as follows:
shed 1v. shed, shed·ding, sheds
v.tr.
1. To cause to pour forth.
2. To diffuse or radiate; send forth or impart.
3. To repel without allowing penetration.
4. a. To lose by natural process.
b. To rid oneself of (something not wanted or needed):
 
That truly resonated with me because that is exactly what I spent my year doing. Getting rid of things, habits, people, and ways of thinking that were not needed. I was finally at a place in my life where I knew exactly what and who I needed to reach my optimal growth potential. Things were changing so rapidly that I almost felt like I was going mad. As tiring as it was, I am so glad that I lived out on a limb and had the support I needed when it came down to it. Through tears, worry, and stress, I learned alot about myself. Some good, and some not so good. These were strengths that I was able to play up and weaknesses that I could strengthen.
The year of 28 will be my best year yet, and so will every year thereafter.One of my birthday resolutions is that I want to try new things and get over any fear that I may possess. I am absolutely terrified of water,  I don't know how to swim and I believe that I almost drowned once, (Nate, stop cracking up, I really did!!!!) but I made sure that I got into a pool on my birthday and tried, as nerve racking as it was (trust me, I was a ball of nerves!) it was well worth it! I can't be an asset to others if I am not an asset to myself. There are absolutely no excuses for me to use anymore. Baby steps are better than no steps, so if I have to crawl to get over it, than so be it!
So far, 28 has come in like a lion, so many amazing things, people, and opportunities have literally come along since the age change, so no complaints here; that's what I prayed for, so I shouldn't be surprised! He did say "ask and you will receive" so I'm asking, and sharing! Is it time for you to do some shedding? Either way, it's coming, it's just better to be prepared so that you can get familiar and adjusted to your new skin and atmosphere! He did the ultimate shedding, which was His blood. God is love.
 

Monday, October 8, 2012

A Change is Gonna Come

I'm baaaack! (Lol, I'm impressed with myself to be honest!) This weekend was nice and relaxed. Nothing extra adventurous transpired, but alot of the time, that's a great thing! My Acer tablet stopped working, and I felt a bit handicapped. It seemed like I no longer knew exactly how to use a laptop to check all of my emails, blog, social media, and column. It was so crazy to me how much I personally depend on my phone and tablet, when I thought I didn't. I'm so sad. But it won't last too long. Me and Lauren actually went and helped my mom pick out her FIRST touchscreen Android phone......uh-oh! Tee hee! It made me laugh, it was so cute when we were helping her how hard she was touching the screen, assaulting it really. Ha! Love you mom.
So, one thing that is on my mind is "change". I always hear people saying "I've changed" or "He/she has changed" and alot of the time, it seems to be a negative thing. I don't think that it is. We take other people changing so personally.We are so consumed with conforming to whatever image that we feel is the most acceptable in whatever niche in society we are trying to be a part of, that we never were ourselves to begin with, usually well into adulthood. So now we are stuck with "faux" relationships and stretching relationships that were only meant to be seasonal.
Growing up being first generation American; it was already such a culture shock to be in a Haitian household and being surrounded by American culture/traditions. On top of that, my older (but again, younger looking) sister, and older brother and I went to an all white school system. Here were Haitian kids, surrounded by white kids that wanted to know about black culture; we wanted to know about it too!
So change really does become hard when you finally wake up one morning or come home from school or work one day feeling unfulfilled and honestly; fake. So you strive for making that "change", whatever or wherever that might be, when all the while you really are finally accepting and coming into yourself. I have found that over time, people already have preconceived notions of how they want you to act and what role they want you to play in their lives. When the boat gets rocked, it is hard to support if they never really knew the real person inside.
There were (and still are) so many things that I wanted to do growing up and into becoming an adult that I just didn't do for fear of everyone else's reaction. Some big, some small. Once I realized that as long as I am OK with decisions that I make spiritually and in regards to my main ministry; my family, everything and everybody else that didn't edify me fell to the wayside! It is scary, liberating, and allows you to move on to bigger things that not only involves you, but evolves you. Change does a body good, life is way too short to live scared. Go on and change!!!! Sam Cooke said it best "A Change is Gonna Come". It's my season of change, this is my formal announcement. God is love.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Pushing Positivity Automatically Negated Negativity

It is literally cresting on 5 months since my last (and second) post. That's weak. It's not that I didn't have anything to write about, I really have enough stuff that I could have written twice a day, every single day!
This summer has been such a wonderful growth experience for me, and the beginning of the fall is keeping pace. I have always been the girl that was around, at every social scene, or always hosting things at my house with my family. Well, I went on a (much needed) hiatus and the results were.......well, human. Many people that were always there socializing with me tapered off and really didn't tend to me emotionally. In fact, amidst the huge family change I went through, with my husband moving to DC before my daughter and I, there was vast lack of sensitivity shown. I can't say that it hurt more than it was annoying, ha! It really showed me how awesome God is and how great our relationship is, but more importantly, how I can be a better child of His. It also showed me not to put unwarranted expectations on individuals without consulting them first. I cannot be upset if I never taught someone how to treat me or have a *gasp* serious conversation with them! I am just as at fault than anyone else!
But my summer wasn't all negative, actually, there was more positive than anything!!! My hubby Nate and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary in July!!! I just praise God for the growth that we've experienced, but more importantly, I thank God for the future that we have to look forward to and the continued growth!
My beautiful older (but younger looking) sister Wensa and her husband Nick, are expecting their first child!! MY NEPHEW!!! Ava has been telling anyone who will listen "baby cousin's a booooy"!!! The feeling of becoming an aunt never gets old, this is my 11th (yep, you read right!) experience and my daughter makes 12 in all!!! I love knowing that my kid(s) will be able to have cousins that they can grow up with and forge strong relationships with! I know I love my cousins!! *shoutout*
I was able to really hone in on my job as a food critic with my partner in crime Lauren! We were able to really experience Louisville and Louisville's food scene in a way that many people never will, it has been such a blessing! It has helped me to write some awesome articles for the Examiner, which has lead to eligibility to do even greater things!! I mean, I get paid to eat!!!
My two year old daughter started reading this summer!! I just love the girl that she is coming into, I would be lying if I said it is not without trials, but then I have to look at my personality and my mom always laughs because she says me and Ava are the exact same! I can appreciate and nurture that, to the best of my ability!!
There really is so much more, and I won't leave you guys in the dark, I just cannot write a dissertation and expect you all to read it in one sitting!! I had alot of choices and hard conversations this summer, and as hard as it was for me, it always opened up doors and most importantly hearts. My healing continues, and I know this just by the caliber of trials I am given to face, but that is how I know that God is love.